Another Shrinky Solution to Anxiety: Laughing at the “What-Ifs”

One of the clearest signs that you are experiencing anxiety is getting an attack of the “what-ifs.” The “what-ifs” are what happens when you you try to tell yourself that everything is going to be fine and then a voice pops into your head saying, “Yeah, but what if . . .?”

Recognizing that “what-ifs” are not true and are simply a symptom of anxiety is an important step in finding a solution to this distress.

Shelly is standing on the train platform waiting for the train to arrive. Her heart is pounding and her breath feels short. She tells herself there is nothing to worry about. Then another voice pops into her head. Yeah, but what if I get on the train and I can’t breathe, and I start going crazy, and the next stop is 30 minutes away, and I won’t be able to get off and, and, and . . .

What Shelly doesn’t realize is that the problem isn’t the train. The problem is that she is having an attack of the “what-ifs.” Change the scene to an elevator, a ski-slope, a business meeting, a public speech, or a first date. The words may change, but what stays the same is the phrase, “what if.”

If you are subject to anxiety, in that moment, you probably find it very hard to convince yourself that those what-ifs aren’t true. In fact, you might find it hard to believe what I am telling you right now as you are reading this.

One way to help let go of the “what-ifs” is to laugh at this voice instead of taking it seriously. But how can you find such a serious subject funny?

The great poet, Shel Silverstein, wrote a poem called, “Whatif?” The first few lines go like this,

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
Some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
And pranced and partied all night long
And sang the same old Whatif song:

Inspired by this poem, my daughter’s 2nd grade class wrote their versions of what-if poems. Here are a few examples of what they wrote.

What if I won’t be able to sit up straight
What if I never get a date
What if a boa constrictor gets into the shower
What if  I fall off a great big tower

What if a ghost comes out of the dark
What if I get bitten by a hungry shark
What if I can never go shopping at the mall
What if I never learn to bounce a basketball

If you suffer from the what ifs, try this yourself. It might help you remember that just because something pops in your head doesn’t make it true.

By recognizing that “what-ifs” are a sign or symptom of anxiety, instead of avoiding or worrying, you can put your attention to calming down your body by turning down the Inner Alarm System, and turning up the Inner Safe System.  Take a look at Shrinky. He might make you smile and remind you that laughing at the “what-ifs” is an important part of the solution for your anxiety.

Glenn Berger, PhD,is a psychotherapist with 15 years experience in private practice. His invention, “Shrinky” gives you virtually what any good psychotherapist offers:

Support – All the information you need.
Advice- Ask Shrinky any questions about the issues of life.
Wisdom – Inspiration to help you on the journey.
Love – Connection, understanding, empathy, and acceptance.

Ask “Shrinky” any question you like about emotional and mental health, love and relationship, work, money and success, and your best body, below.

Purchase the iPhone “Shrinky” app, “the best tool to stay cool” on the App Store.

One Response to “Another Shrinky Solution to Anxiety: Laughing at the “What-Ifs””

1. Flora M Brown, Ph.D. says:

   March 20, 2011 at 10:29 am

   Thanks for reminding me of Shel Silverstein. One of the joys of raising my kids was reading all the books and stories they were reading at each stage. I loved reading these aloud and dramatizing them.

   For my life I take the “what ifs” beyond the horrible thing to imagining that the eventual outcome won’t be the end of the world.

   A few decades ago, for example, I wanted to buy a commercial building to house a tutoring program I had started. I knew very little about real estate, so I bought a book called “How Not to Get Taken Every Time.” I read it and prepared to negotiate for this building I had spotted and loved.

   I certainly experienced anxiety and fear, especially because my husband was too afraid of this financial move himself to offer me any encouragement and support.

   For a while I was frozen with fear of failure. So, I imagined “what if” I was successful in getting this building, ran a successful program there, but reached a time when I could no longer pay the mortgage and bills? I imagined that I would lose the building and not have it anymore. That’s when it hit me! “I don’t have the building now, so if I lost it I would only be back to where I am now.” What a relief that realization was!

   I went ahead with my plans and enjoyed two glorious years running my tutoring program in that building. When I closed that program, it wasn’t the money so much that was a problem, but my passion had declined.

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